November 11, 2016

P. G. Wodehouse Quotes

“Cats as a class, have never completely got over the snootiness caused by that fact that in Ancient Egypt they were worshipped as gods.”

“He was white and shaken, like a dry martini.”

“I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don’t know what I did before that. Just loafed I suppose.”

“I’d always thought her half-baked, but now I think they didn’t even put her in the oven.”

“Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these, ‘It might have been.’.”

“Rugby football is a game I can’t claim absolutely to understand in all its niceties, if you know what I mean. I can follow the broad, general principles, of course. I mean to say, I know that the main scheme is to work the ball down the field somehow and deposit it over the line at the other end and that, in order to squalch this programme, each side is allowed to put in a certain amount of assault and battery and do things to its fellowman which, if done elsewhere, would result in fourteen days without the option, coupled with some strong remarks from the Bench.”

“There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.”

“Though never for an instant faltering in my opinion that Augustus Fink-Nottle was Nature’s final word in cloth-headed guffins, I liked the man, wished him well.”

“Unlike the male codfish which, suddenly finding itself the parent of three million five hundred thousand little codfish, cheerfully resolves to love them all, the British aristocracy is apt to look with a somewhat jaundiced eye on its younger sons.”

“Unseen, in the background, Fate was quietly slipping the lead into the boxing-glove.”

“Work, the what’s-its-name of the thingummy and the thing-um-a-bob of the what d’you-call-it.”